Bullying can be split into six categories: verbal (name-calling or threatening), psychological (stalking or intimidating), social (ignoring or gossiping), physical (hitting or stealing possessions) and cyber (abuse via technology). Bullying comes in all shapes and sizes. Bullying isn’t anything new; it has been around for years. Counselors and psychologists like to point out the motives behind bullying. Some mention that people bully because they are insecure, and others say people bully because they have a sense of entitlement.

Personally, I don’t think that the motive of the person matters. No matter the motive, it is wrong. Let’s take the word “bullying” out of the picture and just call it what it is—sin. My friends, this is a real issue, and it isn’t just in our schools. We also see this in the church. Like some of you, I grew up in a Christian home. I will be the first to admit I wore the rose-colored glasses of naivety to issues like this. We in the church do not treat people the way we should. I have heard wiser men than I say, “Christians treat non-believers better than they treat their brothers and sisters in Christ.” I see something wrong with this statement. Just because we aren’t physically harming each other or shoving people in lockers doesn’t mean we aren’t bullying. In the church, bullying takes other forms: gossip, intimidation, and even ignoring others. God commands us to love our neighbors. Look at these simple, but true passages:

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. (John13:34)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. (1 Thessalonians 5:12-15)

As I mentioned earlier, bullying is not an insecurity or entitlement; it is a heart issue. Search your heart, and ask God to reveal how to love others better. All throughout the Scriptures, we are mandated on what godly relationships look like and how we should treat each other. I am discouraged at what I see the world becoming. We are called to be a light in this dark place. My challenge to you is to “check yourself.” As I write this, I am searching my heart and thinking through how I treat other people. I ask you to do the same.  

That was just a small part of a conversation I had with someone recently. They got right down to the root issue—sacrifice requires a right heart. We all know that sacrifice is part of the Christian life. Romans 12:1 says, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.” We also know that Jesus lived out a life of sacrifice as an example for us. John 13:5 says, “After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.” Then Jesus said in verse 14, “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.”

Sacrifice. I think every real Christian wants to be known as one who is willing to sacrifice, but doing it is another issue. It’s so easy to find a way to escape. I sent out an email last week asking people to help with taking a man to therapy; he lives in Mt Airy and the therapy is in Mt. Airy, so it’s a really easy task. Someone responded to a different email I sent out, so I asked if they were willing to take this man to therapy. Here’s what they said. “I was praying for more opportunities to minister this morning, saw the email, deleted it. Then realized this might be one of those opportunities I was praying about and undeleted it…. And now you’re asking. At this point I can’t say no.” Now that’s calling it what it is. We’ve all been guilty of blowing off the opportunities, but this person recognized it and did something about it.

Sacrifice. Where is your heart? Do you pray for “more opportunities to minister”? Do you have a heart to give like Paul? He said, “Yes, and if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all” (Phil. 2:17). There’s the heart again. Paul said he would be “glad and rejoice” if he was completely spent—like a drink offering absorbed by the ground—on the sacrifice and service of the faith of those in Philippi.

Sacrifice is difficult, but it’s a real, measurable expectation of God. We could talk a lot about what it takes to get there, but it’s really just a matter of obedience. I don’t know any better way to say it. “It’s a heart issue. Are you going to sacrifice for the Lord or not?”

Paul points out that we are to equip ourselves with God’s might and God’s protection. The reason is that our opponents are spiritual and wicked. If we wrestle with spiritual forces, then we are in close proximity with them. You cannot wrestle someone from a distance.

Have you ever seen sunlight beaming through a window and noticed all the dust particles floating in the air? You may think the sunlight drew the particles together, but actually the light simply is revealing what is in the air. Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12). He shines light in this dark world. When Jesus came into this dark world, He revealed the demonic world around us. The gospel narratives reveal the many times demonic forces encountered Christ (Matt. 8:28, 29; Mark 1:32-34; Luke 4:33-36). Jesus, as the Light of the World, simply reveals the evil in our spiritual environment. If Jesus simply reveals the powers of darkness around us, then shouldn’t we arm our minds with the truth that the powers of darkness are about us? This is in accordance with what Paul wrote in Ephesians.

Following are a couple of things to note in Paul’s passage in Ephesians 6:12:

• All Christians, not some, wrestle or struggle with the satanic host.
• The satanic host is organized and it is evil
• The satanic host works with Satan to carry out his schemes (Eph. 6:11).

In a future study I would like to elaborate on the occult and Satan’s more blatant attacks, but for now I will point out the more subtle ways of the enemy. The defense Paul alludes to gives us clues of how Satan, with his angels, attacks. Satan attacks with lies, so we need to protect ourselves with truth (Eph. 6:14). He attacks with sin, so we need to protect ourselves with righteous living (Eph. 6:14). We need to diminish his evil by expanding God’s kingdom (Eph. 6:15). Satan attacks our faith, so we need to protect ourselves with faith (Eph. 6:16). We need to keep in mind that we are saved and belong to God (Eph. 6:17). We need to be armed with the truth of the Bible and ward off Satan’s attack with the Word just as Jesus did (Matt. 4:1-11).  Finally, we need to maintain an active prayer life to keep ourselves plugged into God’s fellowship and power (v. 18). By applying the imperatives that Paul gives (Eph. 6:13-18), we can win in the wrestling match with the Evil One.

The key passage I am addressing is found in Proverbs 6. In this chapter, the writer suggests there are seven things God hates. Let me list them for you: 

1. A proud look – the arrogance that many have on their faces
2. A lying tongue – not telling the truth
3. Hands that shed innocent blood – could this not be connected to those who participate in abortions, such as the doctors and nurses? (Of course abortion was not in the Old Testament, but killing babies was and is basically the same sin today.)
4. A heart that devises wicked imaginations – sounds like Hollywood
5. Feet that are swift in running to mischief – those who premeditate sinful actions
6. A false witness that speaks lies – maybe someone who uses deception to destroy others
7. He that sows discord among the brethren

I did not comment on the last one because this is the one I would like to focus on. Proverbs also adds that “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts…” (Proverbs 18:8). I believe the person who backbites in the church is one of the most dangerous people in the church. Why? Because I believe his/her words cause division that can divide the body of Christ in subtle and sometimes even blatant ways.

Over the years as a Pastor, I have had to spend many hours trying to help a brother or sister see a bigger picture than what they have been given via gossip. Also, I have seen many good brothers and sisters leave the church because they choose to believe a disgruntled member rather than trust the leadership of their church. It deeply saddens me to watch this kind of behavior, but even more, God says He hates it.

Let’s take a look closer at this Proverb. It is not just that God hates sowing discord, but the verse says that God hates the one who sows discord. Let this soak in. Whenever you begin to talk of someone behind their back in a way that destroys their character, you may very well be putting yourself on God’s hate list. I am not sure that is a place where you want to be. When someone begins to tell you about another brother or sister behind their back, stop them and rebuke them. Sowing discord is not an action that God condones or appreciates. Furthermore, don’t let them try the “well, I am just concerned” approach. Telling anything negative behind a brother/sister’s back to another is forbidden in Scripture and condemned by God. It causes division and discord, and God hates it. May our speech be seasoned with salt so we may speak grace to the hearers and not be on God’s hate list.